I want to preface everything I am teaching on today and say if you are being abused, made to feel less, being beaten or hit. If he uses Gods word to control you or keep you from family. Please seek help and get out. Get help. That is abuse and that is not what this is about today. If you need help but are not sure what to do then email me through this blog.
Maybe you have just become engaged or you think you want to get engaged or maybe you have been married a little while, lets look at God's design for your marriage.
As you know last year my daughter was married and I see young people getting on social media posting their pictures and such. I see people bringing their private problems to social media or their private moments. This is disturbing for me. I see people also getting divorced and after they made everyone believe everything was wonderful.
First thing you need to realize is that if you truly want a Godly marriage then you have to open your marriage to God. Jesus should be the center of your marriage. This year I will be married 29 years. Jesus was not always in the center of it. There were little foxholes that we left open where the enemy was able to sneak in and almost destroyed it. But God had other plans. (One day soon I will write my testimony.)
Having Jesus in the center of your marriage means being in a covenant with him. You need to have a holy trinity with God.
Ephesians 5:31 - “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”
Mark 10:6-9 - But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
I want to point out in the scripture the part that says "What God has joined together" you see God is the one that has to join the marriage. It can not be done by man or people. It is not something where you move in together and just decide okay we are married. The devil wants people to live together, avoid marriage because he knows that when people live that way that he can destroy them so much easier.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 - And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
If you are thinking " its just a piece of paper" " we love each other its all we need" then you are already deceived. These are the small lies that turn into wrong mindsets. Marriage is a holy covenant and when you enter that with God then you receive a spiritual blessing and a strength that only God can give. It also shows a commitment and promise to God and your spouse.
Spiritual covering. It comes from God but it also comes from your spouse. Are you telling all your business all over the internet? Are you always running to your friends bad mouthing and gossiping about everything your spouse says and does. I know sometimes people need to "vent" but when you are always speaking negatively over your spouse then again you have opened a door for Satan to come in and destroy. You taint how family and friends see your spouse. Instead find one Godly person that will listen and always point it back to God.
Marriage ebbs and flows. It is not something that you just give up on. It is going to be hard. Marriage teaches us about forgiveness and patience. Marriages that last will mean forgiving each other a lot. I think sometimes as women we have been lied to by social media about the expectations of what a husband should be and when we learn he is a human that makes mistakes we cut and run. Husbands give up making her feel loved and get upset when she brings a concern. Very immature young men are taking a wife when they have no idea how to be a husband.
Colossians 3:18-19 - Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.
Ephesians 5:22-33 - Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
God says all that to say wives respect your husband and husbands love your wives. There is a book that every single married or engaged couple should have. The author of the book is Emerson Eggerich, Love & Respect. He and his wife have an amazing ministry and this book had an amazing impact on my own marriage. Their website is https://www.loveandrespect.com/
I highly recommend their book and that every couple should go to a conference, get them on dvd. Amazing is how I describe them.
I could write a book about marriage. I am sure there are many that might say well you think it is so easy and following God is just going to magically fix what is wrong. This is not what I am saying. However, after 29 years of marriage having walked through loss of family members, our own immaturity, selfishness, infidelity , money issues and the list goes on. We walked through some life and THROUGH GOD came out on the other side better than before.
Prayer , I can not say this enough. Knowing how to pray how to stand on God's promises for your spouse. Find those scriptures and daily speak them over your marriage and your spouse. Then thank God for them.
Love your spouse. Love is a choice not a feeling. I could do another blog about living through "feelings" Feelings will deceive you and steer your wrong every time. You choose to love your spouse in unconditional love.
Listen to your spouse, if they bring a complaint to you and tell you what they need then listen. Do not let pride allow you to get offended when your spouse brings a problem to you. Listen and be open to hearing what they have to say.
Communicate, talk, put your phone down.
Get off social media and do not talk about your spouse on social media EVER!
Church, go to church together. Surround yourself with other believers.
Forgive. Be willing to forgive each other.
If you get in a place where things are hard join a marriage group or seek counseling from a good Christian professional. Seek help from a team pastor at your church. After you have gone to God then go to the church. Stay off the phone and go to the throne!
Lets Pray
Father God we come before you in prayer for our marriages Lord. The devil wants to destroy what you put together and we stand together saying enough! We rebuke you Satan and every marriage breaking spirit that might try to exalt itself against our marriages. We thank you Lord that what God put together no one can separate so we receive that promise Lord and choose to put our spouse in your hands. We ask Lord that you would guide us in our relationships. Help us to choose right words and right actions. Help wives to respect their husbands and help husbands to love their wives. Show them the way lord and protect what is yours. If they are confused Lord we just rebuke that spirit of confusion because the enemy is the author of every confusion. If they are being tempted Lord to seek outside their
marriage what they should only seek from their spouse we just take authority over that spirit of adultery right now Lord in Jesus name. God you said there is NO temptation that you do not give us a way out of and I pray that you would protect their marriage right now. We close up doors we opened for the enemy to come in like stealth and ask for the blood of Christ to cover their precious marriage. In Jesus Name Amen!
https://youtu.be/Zp6aygmvzM4
Awesome!